Wanted to share how I finally figured out what my style is and felt confident in wearing what I wanted. More importantly keep things you can take away from this post that will help you do the same.
Just to clarify, this is no way, a rule book, its merely a perspective that I am providing so that it will help you break that barrier of age which took me quite sometime to do.
This is also one of the scariest post I am writing today and at the sometime the most liberating one, and you will find out why soon. And if you are in your 30s already or if you are almost there you will understand where I am coming from.
I also had thought of making this my first post when I started almost 2 years ago, but I don’t think so I was in that place where I could say that I found it. Even though it might have seemed. I was far from it.
My Struggle With Style!
This is a bit of a story time, but wanted to share because most of us don’t realize this and looking back we probably would understand ourselves better.
Clothes are expensive in India where I am originally from. And its a luxury for most families. My parents would buy probably around 3 pairs of new clothes a year which sounds so weird now.
But when I went to college in a bigger city, I was suddenly surrounded by girls who had all these fancy outfits, and style which I only saw on magazines or movies. I was fascinated, but I really wanted to FIT IN.
So I did what everyone else did, emulate them.
In My 20s!
When I finally got a job and could spend decent money on stuff, I probably spent the most money on clothes. I didn’t care what I bought, as long as it looked good on me, and more importantly, I looked sexy. I used to be pretty skinny then, and all I could think of was wearing fitted clothes to showcase that.
Now that I think about it, I really wasn’t wearing clothes for myself – it was for others!
This was the biggest curveball in my early and I mean really early 20s, when after my marriage I got pregnant.
And even though, I would say I didn’t have any post part rum depression, but I was definitely anxious to get back to the way I looked before.
This is where I fell into the trap of TRENDS.
Since, I had no idea how I should dress my new body but desperate to look and feel the same way as I was before my daughter. I started wearing everything that was trending.
If I saw it in the magazine, I would wear it. I thought that would make me look stylish. I mean isn’t that the reason why they are featured in the magazine.
My Early 30s!
30 actually hit me like a huge rock. I didn’t know how all those years just flew by and I could not figure out who I was.
My style was all over the place and I felt like my life was too. I had tones of clothes in my closet, but literally nothing to wear. Every outfit that I would put together looked so meh!
It lacked personality. I was constantly changing my outfit styles. More importantly, I didnt feel happy with what I was wearing. I was just buying what I thought looked cute and wore it and threw it back into my closet after just the first pair and problem never looked at.
Gosh, I was at the tipping point.
How I Changed My Style
If you are still here, I am so glad you read all that. If you found some similarities, I would love to know what they were.
Quality, Not Quantity
This was a drive I started after I realized how much money I was spending on clothes and how much of it was just getting wasted because I hated all of them.
This does not mean that you just hit discount shops to buy more so that you spend less. While we all know how bad that is in the long run, its easy to just shop for more if we are not happy with one because well its cheap.
That was the exact mentality that led me to not really having anything to wear.
I started investing in good pieces instead that would last me longer. This forced me to look at the fit of the garment, and how its going to fit into my existing style.
When I started doing that, I started to rewear and create more styles.
Fit not Fitted!
This is what made me doubt myself in my 20s. Always trying to wear fitted clothes.
Now I look at my 13 year old, and I am like, how cool is her style with oversized clothes and all that!
I don’t always just wear oversized clothes, but I stopped focusing on just wearing really fitted clothes, rather I experimented with clothes that looked flattering on me.
I have literally stopped wearing Bodycon dresses, they don’t look good on me and I don’t feel comfortable as well, which is a great Segway to the next point that I realized in my 30s.
Love Yourself Now!
This was the important lesson I learnt in my 30s. You see I can wait to get my size 0 and then dress up or I can dress up now in pieces that are flattering for me and enjoy the process of getting to size 0.
I will always take the second path. The only way to enjoy and be confident in what you will be someday is to have the confidence now.
I realized that rather than wasting time sulking over my not so perfect body, I can dress for it and look the best.
Have Some Fun
As I told you before, I loved clothes a lot, so for me they were fun and I wanted it to feel that way.
So, I started incorporating my favorite colors into my outfits that will make me feel good as well.
Its important to wear what you love, because the time in NOW.
If you have been thinking of wearing a certain color, or a jacket or coat, I say do it. It will make you feel great about yourself. And you will reflect that on others.
Invest in a Statement Piece
We are in our 30s and we deserve a bit of a treat. And why not, invest in something special that will be part of our statement style.
I started investing in items that will make me happy and I would look forward to wearing with my looks.
But again, the important factor is to buy something that you actually love and would enjoy.
Shop This Post
I would love to know your thoughts on this post and if you have any questions about finding your style. I have a whole video on how you can find your personal style which I am sharing below!
Let’s be fabulous in our 30s!